The guest house

Today I will put away my most Summery dresses. I have a beautiful wicker chest with an ornate fastening clasp that my Mum got from an auction, which is perfect for the job. The beginning of Autumn is such a pretty time to be in my heart. I love the moody, overcast skies at sunset and the gentle falling of leaves.

My driving lesson went well yesterday, I'm getting the hang of the controls. Another lesson today so hopefully ideas will be starting to wire up in my mind. I do end up feeling quite seriously tired though. I obviously haven't concentrated that much for a while!

I did a good clean of the house also yesterday, whilst making Jack a mix tape for his van. It felt very 90's and was a good excuse to revisit and listen to a lot of old music. My house hold have been mostly at the land in Durham. Where Jack is building a roof for a third floor straw bale house. Its been cold on nights without there sunny presence.

Last night I went to Clara and John's down the road for a Chinese take away. Emma came over and it was just like old times, including the little sisterly misunderstandings of language that peppered our communication. We feasted then all got into Clara's bed in her new beautiful red room for a catch up.

A funny thing happened yesterday as I was musing over music. This lady watched me as she walked around my house, I smiled and she summoned me to the door. Then she stood and pleaded with me for money in another language. Even though I didn't know what she was saying it was easy to get the gist. I made the spur of the moment decision to apologise and be kind but to say no. She may of been in trouble, but there was something in the way she summoned me to her door that made me feel a little protective.

It did make me think about a particular Rumi poem at Earthing the spirit about welcoming people in.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival

A joy a depression, a meanness

Some momentary awareness

Comes as an unexpected visitor

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows

Who violently sweep your house of it's furniture.

Still, treat each guest honourably,

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight

The dark thought, the shame,

The malice, meet them all at the

door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes

Because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

I have always had a problem with not giving to people begging as if I may be denying God. I slowly stopped this thought as it wasn't inspired by love, but more out of sadness. Its interesting to read this poem again as I realise its a lot to do with the self. Welcoming all aspects of the self, to clear out and make way for 'some new delight.'

I do think that people and relationships are often mirrors. That means I'm more selective wrongly or rightly of who I welcome in. I wont be unkind to someone, but giving money doesn't feel like giving in a whole way. I'd rather offer my time, it means more.

Answered prayers

The month of August seems to have flown by in a flurry of house moving, romance and time spent connecting with family and friends.

This morning I am having an hour to take stock before my driving lesson. It took me a while to wake up this morning, after speaking to one of my best friends El about her pregnancy and birth before sleeping, I dreamt of giving birth in water to twins! In my dream is was all very heightened,beautiful and idealistic. I had to remind myself that that the reality is a lot tougher! I've got 2 baby blessings of close friends this week, and two that I'm helping to organise so I'll put that at the core!

I've just returned from visiting my Nana in hospital. So my subconscious is contemplating the mysterious journey of birth and death. It was lovely for my Mum and I to have some quality time to catch up on the journeys and very right and mind easing to have the opportunity to visit. I felt like we helped to lift and lighten spirits. After my Nana Ivy's quick decline, there was a real sense of panic before seeing my Nana, but I was comforted to find her completely herself and wanting to know the in's and out's of how everything came about with Jack. I love the questions asked by loved ones to investigate the worthiness of a potential partner. My Nana's hope that this will be the right person, and that God has answered her prayer for me to have met the right person. It makes me realise where I have come from. Relationships have always been up there as one of my favourite subjects to muse, wonder and master.

My sister, Paul and the kids were up too, on route to centre parks. We had a lovely, drunken night with my Dad. Joseph and Izzy were so excited. I tried setting them off on runs to burn off some of there excess excitement but to no avail!

We played the drinking game with my Dad and Max when we got home. My Dad reminds me of Charlotte and I in his over eagerness. Ha! We had no chance but to be blunt and loud!

This week is the last of the summer holidays! Time to get the house spick and span and get plenty of singing in at the allotment before work starts up!

Sneaky sunshine and snoozes

I'm fighting off having a cold with lemons and afternoon snoozes, sunshine, laughter, garlic and spices. Have had a lovely couple of days, mostly connecting to friends. Jenny came over Wednesday evening, we drank white wine, ate amazing food cooked by Beattie and even played my all time favourite game 'in the manner of the word!' Yesterday I took some time out for reading and tea in bed. Reading a book on 'Dark Mountain' interesting concepts of life and death and uncivilisation. Then lay in a sunny spot in the allotment for a couple of hours.

I also had my first driving lesson yesterday. My word I felt a bit like an Octopus! Its amazing that all that multi tasking becomes automatic, like riding a bike, not that I can ride one very successfully. Think I shall tackle that one with the help of new and very lovely house mate Emma. Would be good to get myself more road aware if nothing else. Going to help out with Alley cats bike treasure hunt tomorrow for a bit of inspiration.

Also met the incredibly beautiful two week old Wren son of Jo and Freddy. Ah. He is perfect and makes the sweetest snuffly noises. My womb was doing some good yearning flips! Fell asleep in a pretty dreamy future state. The present is great though. An exciting time teeming with possibilities but without expectations.

So tonight brings together some more wonderful women for a shared dinner and a couple of glasses of fine wine. I'm going to give the Pub a miss and get myself an early night to save myself from getting this cold. 2 weeks of burning the candle at both ends. My body clock is still set at 7am over 3 weeks after breaking up from school! So I best obey it. I do love mornings and late at night for open alert head space.

Beach and lunch with more friends tomorrow and the return of beautiful Clara May!

Full power

I'm in the process of landing from a very rainy but incredibly blissful week at Earthing the spirit! Prior to going I had been rushing around a lot moving house and as soon as I got there I felt a deep sense of slowing down from the huge majestic trees and rolling hills of the landscape. Many welcoming and familiar faces also meant a sense of coming home.

After the first day of reconnecting I went to my Uncle's wedding, a very beautiful small affair, set in an art Deco building of perfect proportions. I am always slightly astounded by the connections, fun and love in my family. I had so much fun smoking with my cousins on the patio. I swapped places to sit next to my cousin Jon as Kelly his wife was unable to attend and had a full catch up on where we were at, then as soon as the music begun, I danced all night. We kept coming together in family circles, all holding hands, feeling connected and singing our hearts at to one another.

I arrived at Earthing Monday afternoon, sleepy and really grateful to have a week off drinking! The feeling of support and warmth at the festival is a very special creation. Everyone who attends has interesting ideas and is very open to speaking about where they are in life. The morning and afternoon devotionals, are pure heart space. I've struggled with them in the past, but this time really felt the unity they promote and felt really supported to really sing from a deep place. I also attended a very interesting course based on NLP and EFT, which was very powerful in releasing unwanted patterns of behaviour.

There were big fires, a lot of dancing in fields, to live bands and in the kitchen to my i pod. We had an incredible sports day event. Including 5 legged races, spoon and vegetable races, a fancy dress race and numerous tugs of war. I also felt like I got to know and to reconnect with some very inspiring friends. Very open hearted chats and real sharing of creativity and journeys.

I felt really able to be in my heart. An empowering and beautiful place to be.

On returning Jack and I took a detour to some friends land in County Durham who are living the dream. They were celebrating 10 years of being there. The party was really lovely. Huge fire, dancing to fiddle music and singing songs with some quirky Canadians 'the devils claw' song being the most amazing!

On the way to bed in half light, we went to see the straw bale houses that are being built there. They are both incredible examples of craftsmanship and in the new dawn the new house in particular looked like a mystical fairytale dream house.

My aim now is to carry this open hearted joy into the rest of my holidays. To take time to deeply connect, to sing, dance and be and keep myself in full power!

Candles and hot air

Its so hot, it feels like the sticky clammy. tropical hotness you get on a holiday abroad and it's 20 to 11 at night! I shouldn't complain its so good to have time to potter and be in my new space.

I moved in Sunday night. Claimed my space and made my room all beautiful yesterday. I really enjoyed it, creatively finding a home for my treasures and making my room homely. I misplaced a couple of special belongings in the move, my beautiful blue art Deco lamp and my ukulele? Hopefully they will be found amongst the things that went to Hexham, or maybe they are in the Victorian chest which is the only place I haven't yet unpacked. My Mum came over and brought sandwiches and a picture hanging kit along with extra candles and moral support. She did the glorious Mum thing of wiping down all my surfaces, and helped me to hold Indian wall hangings long enough for me to draw them into the very sturdy walls with drawing pins.

151 is a busy house, filled with many things, my new house mates are all really lovely.

Today I woke up and had my favourite kind of pottering morning, then walked into town to have coffee with lovely Katie Sutton and do some bits and pieces of shopping, namely present buying for Willow and Grace. It was hard to choose a puppet for Willow, who is going to be 8 but I decided on a Mr Foxy who has a cheeky glare.

This afternoon I pottered back, came home to tea with house mates and more chats, then on to Jo's this morning who is a few days off her due date for a meal with Jo's closest female friends and a time to be together and bless the babe.

We all gave Jo a bead to wear at her birth. I choose a fertility shell and turquoise and mother of pearl. There was a thread of blue and different sizes. We all wrote a prediction, a piece of advice and a promise to Jo in a book and sang 'Belle Mamma.' It was a really affirming night and a lovely space to support Jo in her own power.

Early night tonight, I'm sat in candle light, Bridesmaids shopping tomorrow for the gorgeous Sophie bright and early in the Metro-centre then hopefully some sunshine at the allotment.